solo movement (Thursday, April 24, 2008)
KH @ 11:45 AM / comment (0)
been acting solo this few days. basically other than work, i try to minimise my toking.
even lunching oso was done alone. maybe becos of the weird feeling in me.
maybe i'm too emotional, too much feelings in me that can trigger my tempers easily.
but i think that all these feelings started to come since i've taken tasks not of my origin work last year, and also stress level has built up from time, that i get angry easily. initially i tend to release the stress by hitting walls. but i promised with buddy, so had tried to cut down a lot.
with the high stress level, it actually make tears to flow out, but i have tried to hold them in, and not showing it in front of anyone, only letting it roll when i'm alone. thats why i dun feel like toking when i had that feeling.
this feeling was back again today, all becos of work. dun really like to do the current work in my current office, i would prefer doing programming. stress from programming at least will be of a different type, a challenging one and not as worst as current one.
becos of these mixture of feelings today, i din go for the movie that my buddy asked me to go. initially she called me using office phone, so i pick up the phone, unknowingly who was it as the number was masked. she kips telling me that i can go for a free movie, as another colleague was not feeling well to go. i told her dat i shld not be gng as my mood not feeling well. i hanged up her phone and she dropped me a sms stating where is the meeting place. but i was not feeling good, so wen to HMV. slow music will heal my feelings. thats what i believed. so i head straight to the jazz department. after listening to some of the albums, i find them nice, so grab them from the shelf, total of 3 jazz genre CD & 1 jap CD. as i was listening to the CD before i purchased, buddy starts to call me, total of 5 calls, which i dun picked up as i dun feel like toking. she drop me a sms asking me to reply her or answer her phone. i did not reply immediately.
i later then walk along orchard road and sit down on 1 of those benches. then i replied her of how i felt at the moment. at that instance, i saw the skies are dark, which represents my feelings at the moment. i sat there hoping the feelings will subside. after sitting there like a idiot for ard 15 mins, i decided to walk to cine's arcade, maybe after a few games i will feel better. but i still dun feel quite well, so i change my mind and walk to the mrt station.
anyway all these feelings are all caused by work. since appraisal is coming, i will make clear to my boss on these, hoping he will understand. thats all for today.